One Year Later

Yesterday marked the anniversary of my return from Mexico. I can't believe how fast time has gone by, yet so much has happened in the past year. A new status, a new career path, and an upcoming arrival. Things around us change all the time, but God remains constant in His grace towards us.

Several weeks ago when my wife and I realized that the anniversary was approaching, we mentioned doing something to celebrate. We got busy with other things, and nothing came of it. This week both my brothers had their birthdays, so we had a little family get-together last night. Before that, we headed to Autzen Stadium in Eugene for the Ducks' annual Spring Game. Basically, it was the perfect day.

Oregon weather being what it is, you never know what to expect. When we left our house, it felt like it was going to be a cold, rainy day. As you can see by the picture that wasn't the case. Because admission is free, we got to sit in seats that we can only dream of being in.

The fans have been really great these past few seasons, and these spring games have become great events. There is a fan festival before the game, and they have a canned food drive for a local food bank.

Several years ago the game became a way to honor the troops. They had a flyover for this game, and watching those jets fly over game me goosebumps.The sounds those planes make is incredible. There was a flag ceremony, a moment of silence, jersey exchange with the troops, and a re-enlistment ceremony. Oh, and there was also a football game too.

Jersey exchange with the troops

I say all of that to say this; somewhere between the national anthem and the flyover I had a moment where I had to stop and be thankful for everything that I had. I had forgotten about the anniversary, but it popped into my head at that exact moment. One year ago I became I Permanent Resident of the United States of America.

To top off the day, we headed to my parents' house to celebrate my brothers' birthdays. It was mostly family members in their. We laughed, we talked, we ate, we played music, we ate some more, and we had a great time all-around.

An eventful week...

The rumors are true. We are having a baby! I will give you a second to take that in before we move on.

To be perfectly honest, it has not completely sunk in yet. I am aware of the situation, but my mind has not fully grasped the concept. As we are letting people know, the reality is becoming even more real. The reality is that I am going to be a father, and as scary as that may sound to us all, it is now upon us. There is no avoiding the fact.

I am planning on starting a "baby blog" in the coming days, but for the time being this blog will suffice to chronicle the beginning of this journey. Especially since the decision to have a baby is tied to my legal status in the United States. Let me elaborate.

When we first got married, our decision was to wait five years to have a child. There were several factors that contributed to making this choice in the amount of time we would wait. The biggest reason  being the state of  my residency. I would not be comfortable with starting a family if I could not legally be in the country. For one, it is difficult to get a job with benefits. It is also a struggle to get a loan to buy a house or just to have credit. There is also the ever present fear of being deported and separated from your family. For people with illegal family members this is a very scary thought that is always present.

When I became a legal U.S. resident, I felt more comfortable about the idea of having a baby. For starters, I made a great choice when it came to choosing the mother of my children. She will be a great mother, and that is one of the biggest reasons I chose to spend my life with her. We have a good, solid relationship that will help us transition into our role as parents. Society is quickly changing around us, but I still believe in the value of a two-parent home. Forgive me if that sounds "politically incorrect."

So on our third anniversary we made The Decision. I knew she was ready, and I felt that I was also ready to face the challenge. I felt at peace with the decision, and I knew that was important. I knew that every single one of my concerns would be answered in God's time. We also have a great support group. Our family, friends, and church will be with us every step of the way.

Our anniversary is in September. Fast forward to the beginning of this month. My wife's health was was giving us some strong hints, but we were hesitant to label them as pregnancy symptoms. At times, my wife has had health issues that would lead us to believe that she was pregnant. She would feel sick to her stomach for a few days, and the thought would slowly creep into our minds. We would buy tests, but the results were always negative.

A few weeks ago she began to feel some of the same things, but she told me she felt different this time. She made a doctor's appointment to get a blood test, and if she wasn't pregnant we needed to know what else could it be. I started to get anxious. I wanted to know if she was pregnant, and if she wasn't I was concerned about what else could be wrong. On Thursday she made an appointment for the following Wednesday. This was too long of a wait for me.

By Tuesday I was desperate to know the Truth. My wife also wanted to know, but for some reason she was slightly more calm than I was. I was pacing all over the place, as I am apt to do in certain situations. She finally relented and I was off to find a pregnancy test. I walked to Circle K, and when I struck out there I drove to several other places in search of the tests. I have to say that the  pilgrimage helped to calm me down slightly. I found the tests. (I will not say where, unless I can negotiate some online advertising for free diapers.)

I returned to our house, and I gave my wife the test. She made her way upstairs, which left me downstairs alone with my racing mind. I wanted the test to be positive. We had been disappointed before, and we were getting anxious. So I waited some more. A million thoughts were going through my mind. I could not tell you a single one.

Pregnant.

Several agonizing minutes later, my wife comes quickly down the stairs. I knew from the way she was coming down that we had a positive test. I went into a state of semi-shock. I can't remember her exact words, but she showed me the test. The result was faint, yet unmistakeable. It was there. A little blue cross that meant something much bigger. We were going to be parents. We are going to be parents. Even as I write this, the Truth is slowly sinking into my mind. 

The result was faint, so she took another one the next morning. (That is the one pictured here.) Then she went to her doctor's appointment where she had another test, as well as a blood test. The results for the blood test would not be know until the next morning. Being the constant skeptic, I decided that I would wait for the result of the blood test before I would fully believe that we were having a baby.

We called the doctor's office the next day, and of course the results were not ready then. So we waited some more. And we began planning how we would tell our family and friends. When the results came back we had a definitive answer.

We are beginning a new journey, and we couldn't be happier. We have had such a great time telling our parents, family members, and friends. This is an imposing task before us, but we know that we are not alone and that makes us feel good. We already love this baby beyond anything that could be written in this humble blog. He or she will be surrounded people that love and care for him.Or her. (It will be hard to write about him or her, until we find out whether he is a he or a she.) That love is evident as we were given our first gift by a special, thoughtful, wise friend.

There will be no questions about where my child's allegiances will lie.

Family time...

My last post was supposed to be about the time I spent with my family, but it became something completely different. I spent way too much time in airplane and in airports, so I had to express my opinions.

I have to write about my family because they were such a large and important part of my journey. Because I was in the U.S. illegally, I could not go out and visit them without having major complications on the return trip. This is an unfortunate fact, not only for my family, but also for countless others. In my case, I was separated from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. For many others it includes parents, siblings, and even spouses. I am very fortunate in that regard because I was only apart from my parents for a few months before they brought me over.

During those months I was looked after by both sets of grandparents and my aunts. Although I missed my parents terribly, they all did their best to provide a loving environment for me. I have very vivid memories of my family caring for me during this time. I was surrounded my aunts, and they all spoiled me to no end. I knew that when I returned I would be received with warmth even though many years had passed.

From the first moment that they picked me up from the Mexico City Airport, my family went our of their way to make my stay with them as comfortable and memorable as possible. They took me in, fed me (too much), and  they never let me pay for anything.

Let me share an example of their kindness. While I was there I had to get an ID card. The one that would be easier to get would be a driver's license. One of my aunts took time out of her day to drive me around town getting everything that I needed. The license itself was very easy to get, but because I haven't lived in Mexico I had no residence. I had to go around to different government offices to get different documents, copies of documents, and photographs. Since I was new to all of it, she was doing most of the talking. She was also pregnant at the time, and I'm sure that all of the walking around was not easy for her.

I was blessed by this act and all the other things that my family did for me during my time with them. My favorite times in Mexico where when we would all be together, as a family. I would sit, watch them for a second and take a mental picture of them. I was happy to see them, and to be with them. Even though I hadn't seen them in years, I felt right at home with them. I miss them, and I can't wait to visit them soon.

You may have asked yourself about the blog's title, "Nameless Traveler," and its origin. Or maybe you haven't. Well, it was the only name that I could come up with that was not taken, and at first I didn't really like. Now that the journey has ended I have begun to appreciate the name more and more. Let me explain why.

What a cute baby...

Before I became legal I did not exist to the U.S. government. I was truly nameless. When I returned to Mexico, even though I was a Mexican citizen, I had no roots. I had a birth certificate and passport, but no address or anything to my name. Once again I was nameless. Spending time with my family helped to to remember where I came from, and where my name came from. I saw the places where I was a baby, where I grew up, and where my parents lived. 

Even though I was out of my comfort zone, I felt at home with them. I know that at any point I can walk into any one of their homes, and they would be glad to see me. I hope that one day we can all be reunited as a family. I want my parents to see their parents and siblings. I want my brothers to see their extended family, and to see where they come from. I want my wife to see it, and when the time comes I want my future children to see it as well. Someday...

Family

In the meantime...

 I had a couple of weeks between my interview and waiver appointment. It was a perfect opportunity to spend time with my family. I hadn't seen most of them in almost twenty years, and I was really excited about spending time with them. Buying a couple of plane tickets would also be less expensive than staying in Ciudad Juarez the whole time between my appointments. It would also take less of a toll on my emotional well being.

My flight left very early on a Tuesday morning. It was still very dark when I had to leave, so the owners of the hostel were reluctant to drive me to the airport. They have a driver on staff, and my flight was before he even had to be at work. The alternative was hiring a taxi, which is not really the safest choice. Fortunately, the driver was willing to drive me to the airport on his own time.

The Juarez airport is pretty small, and my check-in was uneventful. Except for I accidentally left a bottle of lotion in my carry on. I was hoping that Mexican airport laws would be a little more lax than in America. They were not. So it went into the garbage.

I don't really remember much from that particular flight, but I counted how many total flights I took during my trip. I counted seven total flights. I think I flew more in the month of April than I have in my entire life. I don't ever really want to see the inside of an airport, or airplane, or hear one more flight safety speech any more. I get very restless during flights, and because I can't really afford first class at the moment, there was not a whole lot I could do except sit there and figure out which was of sitting was the least uncomfortable.

I usually enjoy the window seats for the view, and because it if the lesser of three evils. The problem with the isle seat is that you have to get up anytime anyone wants to leave their seat. Anytime the flight attendant comes down the aisle with the drink cart she has to reach over you to give the other people their drinks and snacks. That drink cart can also be very painful if it runs into your misplaced elbow.

The middle seat is a problem because you are sitting between two people. If those two people decide they want the arm rest you will spend the entire flight trying to make yourself as compact as possible. The issue are multiplied if you are sitting by complete strangers. I hardly ever get the middle seat.

The window seat is my favorite, but it is not without its drawbacks. I think we have all noticed most airplanes

 are cylindrical in shape. If you are in the window seat your foot that is on the window side will be very uncomfortable because the plane starts to curve, which doesn't let you rest your foot flat on the floor of the plane. I know these are first world problems, but I wondering of this bothers anyone else. 

Of course, the good part of the window seat is the view. I love looking out the window throughout the flight. I enjoy the takeoff, watching everything below me become smaller and smaller, and finally I enjoy the landing.One of my favorite flights was from Mexico City to Ciudad Juarez. The name of the airline was Interjet. They had a screen at the front of the plane that showed feeds from various cameras on the plane. During the flight the screen displayed different types of information such as fuel consumption and the flight location on a map.

During the trip I had the privilege of visiting several airports including, Mexico City, El Paso, Dallas-Fort Worth, and of course Portland. I have come to the scientific conclusion that the Portland Airport is one of the best in the country. I don't really know how this post turned into an airport/airplane seat review post, but I guess it is alright considering this is a travel blog. So let me share one of the worst airport experiences I have had.

For my flight to Ciudad Juarez to Mexico City I had to spend several hours at the airport. I had an early morning flight which I missed, but I was able to book a flight in the afternoon. Unfortunately, this meant I had to wait for a really long time. I couldn't even check my bags or go through security. The first this I discovered was that there was absolutely no place to rest comfortably. I found some stairs to sit at, but it was a high traffic area. Any time I wanted to go somewhere I had to take all my bags with me. They were not light, or easy to maneuver. After walking around for a few minutes I found a hallway that was away from everyone, and where I could stretch out and relax. I was sleep deprived, but I could not sleep for fear of my things being stolen.

Finally the time came to check my bags and go through security. I went through security without incident, and I made my way to the waiting area. My ticket didn't have the terminal printed on it so I didn't really know where to go. While I waited I sampled some of the local cuisine. I had Subway, It didn't taste too good.
 
I found a place to sit while I waited for my flight information to show up on the screen. That is where things went slightly crazy. I am always nervous before a flight right up until the point where I am sitting in the plane. I'm nervous about arriving on time, checking in, going through security, and finding my terminal. Once I am in my seat I can relax and enjoy the flight.

So the fact that I wasn't getting the flight information was not helping my nerves. I had to be in Juarez the next day for my waiver appointment. There was nothing I could do but wait. So I waited.

When the information finally came on the screen, I walked to the terminal which wasn't that far from where I was waiting, and I sat down to wait for my flight. I didn't wait very long before I boarded the plane, and we were off to Juarez. The flight was uneventful, but enjoyable. The plane had a screen that showed different views from cameras that were on the outside of the airplane. During take-off and landing you could see what it looked like from the nose and belly of the plane.

Once we got the the airport I got a taxi to take me back to the hostel. They were all surprised I was back so soon. There is usually at least two months between appointments, but I was able to get mine quicker than most.

My waiver appointment was the very next morning. I settled into my room, and got to bed, but not before taking some time to reflect on the memories I had made with my family. I wish I had more time with them, but I am also excited that I can visit anytime that my finances permit me to do so. I also can't wait to take my wife. I want her to see where I come from, and to meet my family.

Last day with family...,

I head back to Juarez in the morning. My waiver appointment is on Monday, and I could be back in the States very soon.I wanted to take a minute and try to summarize my time with a quick post. Not to mention the fact that I will soon be leaving behind reliable internet.

As home sick as I am, I am really sad to be leaving my family. I can take comfort in the fact that after this process I will be able to visit them more regularly.I have had such a great time. These are people that I have not seen in over 20 years, but these past few weeks have made that fact insignificant.

They took me in, fed me, drove me everywhere, and they made this journey much easier. I was able to relax and not worry about my situation. It was such a contrast to what i felt while I was in Ciudad Juarez.
I think that is what is making me dread having to go back there.I think I have said over and over again that Mexico is such a different place than what I am used to. I am out of my comfort zone, but being reunited with my family has made my trip worthwhile.

My flight leaves very early in the morning which means that it is time for bed. Keep me in your prayers. Pray that my waiver will be accepted. Pray for a quick response. And pray for a safe trip home. Hopefully before the spring game.