Full Circle

Tomorrow, I start studying for the bar which means many more hours in the library for the next couple of months. Still, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and to reflect on what has happened in my life.

Seven years ago, my lawyer told me to go to law school. On May 20, 2017 I walked across a stage and received my law degree after three years of very hard work. I will not pretend to be able to articulate what it all means, so I will borrow from something my mom said as we celebrated with friends and family. She handed my wife a bouquet of green and yellow flowers and she told her that none of this would have been possible without her.

Truer words were never spoken. 

I would be a fool to think that I have accomplished any of this on my own. Getting me to and through law school was a team effort. Regardless of what happens from this day on, I am forever indebted my beautiful wife, Shannon. Not only did she agree to this law school thing, but she has made it her mission to support me every single day in more ways than I can even name. I am humbled by her dedication to our little family. Law school has meant putting our lives on hold, going into debt, and countless hours of hard work. She never complained, and she has not even allowed me to second-guess this decision.  

I am also grateful to my parents, Joel and Rosa Duran. They provided the foundation and the guidance that has allowed me to get where I am today.

I am grateful to my beautiful daughter Anaya. Even at her tender age, she is perceptive and she knows that "daddy's school" has been a big part of our lives. One day, I hope she understands that I did it for her.

There are many others that could be named in this post. Extended family, friends, fellow graduates, professors, mentors, teachers, and even detractors. Thank you all!

Besides finishing law school, the past few weeks have brought other important changes to our lives. If you are new to this blog, you should know that I started it to share my experiences as a Mexican immigrant in the U.S. You can go back and read through posts about the process that it took for me to become a legal permanent resident after almost 20 years of living in the country as an undocumented immigrant. On May 17th, several days before graduating law school, I became an American citizen.

All of this began in the immigration law offices of Raquel Hecht. Not only did she take my immigration case, but she also encouraged me to do something that I never thought was possible. Law school was not on my radar when I walked into her office 7 years ago, but that changed when she looked at me and said, "You should go to law school." A life changing moment, and one that has motivated me to work hard and to continue to be an advocate for those who need it. Thank you, Raquel.

También me gustaría mandar un saludo especial a mi familia en Mexico y en otros lugares. Quiero que sepan que siempre están en mi mente y en mi corazón. Los quiero mucho y los extraño mas de lo que puedo expresar. Todos ustedes son parte de lo que acabo de lograr porque forman parte de la persona que soy. Reciban un fuerte abrazo de nosotros. Esperamos verlos muy pronto.

From Tulancingo, Hidalgo Mexico to Eugene, Oregon; we have come full circle.

Full Circle 

One Year Later

Yesterday marked the anniversary of my return from Mexico. I can't believe how fast time has gone by, yet so much has happened in the past year. A new status, a new career path, and an upcoming arrival. Things around us change all the time, but God remains constant in His grace towards us.

Several weeks ago when my wife and I realized that the anniversary was approaching, we mentioned doing something to celebrate. We got busy with other things, and nothing came of it. This week both my brothers had their birthdays, so we had a little family get-together last night. Before that, we headed to Autzen Stadium in Eugene for the Ducks' annual Spring Game. Basically, it was the perfect day.

Oregon weather being what it is, you never know what to expect. When we left our house, it felt like it was going to be a cold, rainy day. As you can see by the picture that wasn't the case. Because admission is free, we got to sit in seats that we can only dream of being in.

The fans have been really great these past few seasons, and these spring games have become great events. There is a fan festival before the game, and they have a canned food drive for a local food bank.

Several years ago the game became a way to honor the troops. They had a flyover for this game, and watching those jets fly over game me goosebumps.The sounds those planes make is incredible. There was a flag ceremony, a moment of silence, jersey exchange with the troops, and a re-enlistment ceremony. Oh, and there was also a football game too.

Jersey exchange with the troops

I say all of that to say this; somewhere between the national anthem and the flyover I had a moment where I had to stop and be thankful for everything that I had. I had forgotten about the anniversary, but it popped into my head at that exact moment. One year ago I became I Permanent Resident of the United States of America.

To top off the day, we headed to my parents' house to celebrate my brothers' birthdays. It was mostly family members in their. We laughed, we talked, we ate, we played music, we ate some more, and we had a great time all-around.

Mamacita: a poem

This was a poem that I read in a literature class. I had an instant connection with it because it is my story, and it is the story of so many people around me. I think it is a powerful statement about the immigrant's experience in America.

MAMACITA

by Margaret S. Mullins

mamacita, mamacita
grab those babies
and run for the border
swim across the river
walk through the desert
hold tight the babies
take the first job
cleaning the toilets
and then the second
vacuuming offices
sleep with the babies
work on the weekends
washing dishes
at the tex-mex place
where they let you eat
take in others' kids
whose mamas work nights
tuck them in bed with you
snuggle them tight
take them to free clinics
feed them tortillas
send them to school
to learn how to read
shop at the thrift store
go to the library
play at the green park
watch them grow strong
watch them grow smart
watch them start college
call their grandma at home
but don't cross back over
your babies are here
and they need you now
to hug them tight
as they fill out the papers
that make them point blame
at you who brought them
and taught them to love
the nation that says
they should never have come

I am America

There are times when I find it hard to relate to certain issues. When people are discussing things like retirement, Social Security, and property taxes I find it hard to sympathize because I don't have a personal connection with those issues. I am no where near retirement age, Social Security is also far away, and I have no property that can be taxed. I have found others are the same way with issues that are important to me.

I understand the difficulty in relating to something that you don't have a personal connection with. It would be like worrying about somebody that you don't know. That is why I have this blog. Immigration is an issue that is very important to me, and I want to do everything I can to make the people around me aware of what is going on.

Everyday millions of  people are denied the opportunity of becoming American residents. These are people that have a strong work ethic and solid family values. The desire for a better life has driven them to come into the country illegally. They work the jobs that many are not willing to do, and they are forced to live in the shadows of society. They are treated unfairly, and the labels that others have placed on them make them seem less than human.

States like Alabama and Arizona have violated their Constitutional limitations to enact strict anti-immigrant policies that have bordered on outright racism. Both of their attempts have been challenged by federal courts, and the Supreme Court is reviewing Arizona's law as I type this. I won't be the person that compares these policies to Nazi Germany, but can't stay silent when my people are being treated unfairly.

In Arizona there is a man who calls himself "America's Toughest Sheriff." That man is Joseph Arpaio, Maricopa County Sheriff since 1993. If I were to label Mr. Arpaio, I would change his moniker to "America's Most Racist Sheriff." His actions during his term are nothing short of appalling. Mr. Arpaio is currently being investigated by the U.S. Department of Justice for his treatment of Latinos in Maricopa County. There are reports of raids motivated by skin color, as well as mistreatment of Latino prisoners in the county jail.   

I find it hard to believe that He has been in office for so long, especially when I read those allegations about him. Even when he defends himself Mr. Arpaio cannot help but sound inhumane and bigoted. From the San Francisco Chronicle, "He said the decision by Homeland Security to sever ties will result in illegal immigrants being released from jail and large numbers. They will go undetected and be "dumped on a street near you. For that, you can thank the federal government," the sheriff said."

Dumped on a street near you? Are we garbage to you, Mr. Arpaio? Just because someone does not have the "right papers" does not give you the right to think of them as less than yourself. These words are just a small sample of the things that Mr. Arpaio allows and condones in his department.

Mr. Arpaio. You say tough, I say racist

I could go on an on about what this man has said and done during his time as sheriff, but I wont. I will, however, leave you with one interesting fact about Mr. Arpaio: his parents were Italian immigrants. Ah, l'ironia! (Oh, the irony!)


Then we have the federal government. Their actions can be more aptly described as in-actions. Presidential candidates have promised an overhaul to the broken immigration policy in this country. Not one of them has done anything significant about it when they are elected. After a while, you get the sense that they are merely pandering to the Latino voters with their words, but in reality they are playing political games. 


Earlier this year the Obama administration made a policy change having to do with the deportation of undocumented immigrants. If an individual was arrested they would only be deported if they had a criminal record, or if they were repeat offenders. I was glad to hear the the White House was doing its part to make the system work a little better for people who were trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately, it was too good to be true.


I read about Liliana Ramos, a woman who was deported after living in the U.S. for twenty-one years. She was separated from her three children, and taken to country that is almost completely foreign to her. She tried to do the right thing, and she was essentially punished for it. When she brought up the policy change to the immigration officers they told her that it was just politics. I have learned that there is a difference between what politicians say and what politicians do. President Obama is no exception. Deportations have actually increased since he was elected.


A change has to be made. The system does not work, for anybody. I have no problem with securing the border. I have no problem with deporting dangerous criminals, or with the law being enforced, but I want something in return. Fix the immigration system. Everyone should have to chance to know what it means to be an American, not just live in America. 


I know this is a long post, and I am having a hard time figuring out how to conclude this essay. I will leave you with a poem I read in a literature class. It was written by an African American poet named Langston Hughes.  Even though he was wrote from an African American point of view, I cannot help but relate.


I, Too
  

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides, 
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

~Langston Hughes 

 

Occupy Your Brain

The time has come for me to respond. I have sat and watched this Occupy movement for some time now, not really saying much of anything- until now. Personally, I am getting tired of hearing about it, so I thought writing about it would give me some closure. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. It's not that I am completely against the movement either. It is not that simple.

Looking at it objectively, the Occupy Wall Street movement has the right idea: the ordinary person taking on the corrupt system that controls everything. It's clear that the ordinary man wants change and the ordinary man will stand up for what he believes in. It is like the Protestant Reformation. In the year 1517 Martin Luther walked up to All Saint's Church in Wittenberg, Germany and nailed his Ninety-Five Theses to the door. (Occupy the Catholic Church) There are also similarities to the Civil Rights era, when African Americans stood up and marched against the injustices to which they were being subjected. The list goes on.

All these movements have something in common; they identify a social problem, and they express their displeasure with it. Luther pointed out the corruption that had infected the Roman Catholic Church; his Ninety-Five Theses were his solutions. Civil Rights leaders like Martin Luther King saw the unfair way that African Americans were being treated by the majority, and fought for equal rights. Occupy Wall Street is a group of people that are tired of the greed and corruption that plague our society. They have effectively pointed this out. They have our attention. We would have to be blind and heartless to disagree that the system is broken and in need of repair.

Yet, the question remains: What do you want to do about it? Please give us a clear and definite answer so we can at least have a discussion. As a movement, you have made valid points. Our economy has suffered because greedy people have abused their power, and now the house of cards they created is falling. The ordinary person is left paying for it.

Whatever the solution may be, blowing up the system is not the answer.  Capitalism may not be perfect, but at the end of the day, it is by far the best economic system we have. It is vulnerable because of people's greed, but that is an inevitability because humans are in control. Any time there is a human being at the wheel, there is the possibility of error. That is what happened here. A few greedy people took advantage of the situation. 

The truth of that matter is that the "system" is just too big. There is no way that it can be stopped. The government can't stop it because government is in the back pocket of these corporations. Neither political party has an answer. If you like take a look at these websites which list some of the biggest donors to the Obama campaign and to the McCain campaign in 2008. If you don't have to time to look, let me just tell you that some of the biggest contributors to political campaigns are the giant Wall Street corporations that are considered so evil. Therefore, we cannot rely on government intervention here, because that would be a case of biting the hand that feeds you. 

Do the Occupiers want the "rich" to give them their money? Wouldn't this make them just as bad as the rich people? What motivation do the rich people have for giving away their money?  I know I say this a lot, but I have to clarify that I am not an economics major. Yet, I cannot agree with the notion that rich people don't pay taxes. I have met several "rich" people in my time, and when they have shared with me the amount of money they have to pay in taxes, I am astounded. Aside from that, if they want to keep more of their money from the government they have to jump through a million little hoops. The media makes it seem like these hoops keep them from paying taxes at all, but that is just not the case.

People like to point out that corporations don't pay taxes. I don't know enough to say anything one way or another, but consider this. Corporations create job for many people. Those people pay, and they are consumers in the economy. That creates more jobs, which creates more tax revenue.  I am sure that many people would consider my ideas naive, but I believe my point of view is not extreme.

The media has done a good job of creating a bad guy in this situation. You see, we are always looking for a scapegoat. Throughout history anti-Semitic movements have blamed the Jews for a million things. The Salem Witch Trials are another example of people trying to find the responsible party for a problem that cannot be easily explained. That is why we have the term witch-hunt.
(Those don't always work out so well.) In this case, the scapegoat has become "rich people", the so-called one percent. No body ever considers themselves rich, so that automatically makes everyone the "good guys." I don't think it is that simple. I think we all share the blame for this, and many of society's ills. 

So what is my solution? It is very simple, and  it begins on a personal level. Occupy your job. Occupy the classroom. Occupy personal responsibility. Be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. Stop blaming others for your failures and your shortcomings. Take back the control, and the power that you have given up as an individual. Stop being a sheep.

I could sit here and complain all day about the things that I don't have. I could look across the street at my neighbor's house. I could be envious of his car, his house, his guitars, and his perfectly manicured lawn. Or I could be thankful for what I have, walk over and become friends with him so he will share his things with me. Then I will work hard to achieve what I consider to be success. 

That is what it is all about. Educate yourself, find a good job(easier said than done right now, but you get the idea), pay your taxes, don't get into debt, provide for your family, help those in need, be part of a community, don't break the law, don't be a burden to the system, be a productive member of society. Play with your kids. Take your wife out to dinner. Smile. Be happy. Stop worrying about the things that you cannot control. Most of all, Occupiers, stay off the road so I can get to work.

Funny Picture.

Thank you for editing, Peter Ogle.

An eventful week...

The rumors are true. We are having a baby! I will give you a second to take that in before we move on.

To be perfectly honest, it has not completely sunk in yet. I am aware of the situation, but my mind has not fully grasped the concept. As we are letting people know, the reality is becoming even more real. The reality is that I am going to be a father, and as scary as that may sound to us all, it is now upon us. There is no avoiding the fact.

I am planning on starting a "baby blog" in the coming days, but for the time being this blog will suffice to chronicle the beginning of this journey. Especially since the decision to have a baby is tied to my legal status in the United States. Let me elaborate.

When we first got married, our decision was to wait five years to have a child. There were several factors that contributed to making this choice in the amount of time we would wait. The biggest reason  being the state of  my residency. I would not be comfortable with starting a family if I could not legally be in the country. For one, it is difficult to get a job with benefits. It is also a struggle to get a loan to buy a house or just to have credit. There is also the ever present fear of being deported and separated from your family. For people with illegal family members this is a very scary thought that is always present.

When I became a legal U.S. resident, I felt more comfortable about the idea of having a baby. For starters, I made a great choice when it came to choosing the mother of my children. She will be a great mother, and that is one of the biggest reasons I chose to spend my life with her. We have a good, solid relationship that will help us transition into our role as parents. Society is quickly changing around us, but I still believe in the value of a two-parent home. Forgive me if that sounds "politically incorrect."

So on our third anniversary we made The Decision. I knew she was ready, and I felt that I was also ready to face the challenge. I felt at peace with the decision, and I knew that was important. I knew that every single one of my concerns would be answered in God's time. We also have a great support group. Our family, friends, and church will be with us every step of the way.

Our anniversary is in September. Fast forward to the beginning of this month. My wife's health was was giving us some strong hints, but we were hesitant to label them as pregnancy symptoms. At times, my wife has had health issues that would lead us to believe that she was pregnant. She would feel sick to her stomach for a few days, and the thought would slowly creep into our minds. We would buy tests, but the results were always negative.

A few weeks ago she began to feel some of the same things, but she told me she felt different this time. She made a doctor's appointment to get a blood test, and if she wasn't pregnant we needed to know what else could it be. I started to get anxious. I wanted to know if she was pregnant, and if she wasn't I was concerned about what else could be wrong. On Thursday she made an appointment for the following Wednesday. This was too long of a wait for me.

By Tuesday I was desperate to know the Truth. My wife also wanted to know, but for some reason she was slightly more calm than I was. I was pacing all over the place, as I am apt to do in certain situations. She finally relented and I was off to find a pregnancy test. I walked to Circle K, and when I struck out there I drove to several other places in search of the tests. I have to say that the  pilgrimage helped to calm me down slightly. I found the tests. (I will not say where, unless I can negotiate some online advertising for free diapers.)

I returned to our house, and I gave my wife the test. She made her way upstairs, which left me downstairs alone with my racing mind. I wanted the test to be positive. We had been disappointed before, and we were getting anxious. So I waited some more. A million thoughts were going through my mind. I could not tell you a single one.

Pregnant.

Several agonizing minutes later, my wife comes quickly down the stairs. I knew from the way she was coming down that we had a positive test. I went into a state of semi-shock. I can't remember her exact words, but she showed me the test. The result was faint, yet unmistakeable. It was there. A little blue cross that meant something much bigger. We were going to be parents. We are going to be parents. Even as I write this, the Truth is slowly sinking into my mind. 

The result was faint, so she took another one the next morning. (That is the one pictured here.) Then she went to her doctor's appointment where she had another test, as well as a blood test. The results for the blood test would not be know until the next morning. Being the constant skeptic, I decided that I would wait for the result of the blood test before I would fully believe that we were having a baby.

We called the doctor's office the next day, and of course the results were not ready then. So we waited some more. And we began planning how we would tell our family and friends. When the results came back we had a definitive answer.

We are beginning a new journey, and we couldn't be happier. We have had such a great time telling our parents, family members, and friends. This is an imposing task before us, but we know that we are not alone and that makes us feel good. We already love this baby beyond anything that could be written in this humble blog. He or she will be surrounded people that love and care for him.Or her. (It will be hard to write about him or her, until we find out whether he is a he or a she.) That love is evident as we were given our first gift by a special, thoughtful, wise friend.

There will be no questions about where my child's allegiances will lie.

The Aimless Musings of a Chronic Insomniac

Its 4:04 a.m and I cannot get to sleep. It might have something to do with the rather strong cup of coffee that I had earlier, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions. This was a serious cup of "joe" and I am paying the consequences for drinking it so late at night.  If you are reading this you are also paying the consequences. Misery seeks company. My mind is racing a million miles an hour, and this is my attempt to pull it over so I can get some sleep.

I have been thinking about the direction I want this blog to take. I am considering becoming an English major when I transfer to a four-year school, and I have realized that I need to practice my writing. I have several writing assignments during the week, and when I compare my writing to that of my peers I feel that I can definitely improve. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to them, but they just sound so smart.

I listen to my classmate's writing, and I can't feel but feel like my writing is slightly inferior to theirs. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to them, but its human nature. On the other hand, sometimes I think that they have way too much spare time on their hands, and if they were such great writers they would be making a living as writers, not merely studying writing at LBCC. They really enjoy their own writing, and talking about their writing. That is the insomniac talking.

Writing about immigration comes naturally to me. I feel passionate about it, so when the topic comes up I have no shortage of things to say. I read news articles on the matter, and my mind begins to race about what I would write on the topic. I listen to political talk radio, and I hear things that make me want to express myself through the majesty of writing. It is a good way to vent too, because this issue frustrates me sometimes. Especially, when politicians play "hot-potato" with the issues, but that topic is for a different post. Or the next bout of insomnia. Whichever comes first. 

There are literally thousands of things to write about. Even when I am supposed to be working on writing for school, I am thinking about various subjects to blog about. I always see or hear things that get my attention, or make me think, and I want to share them with you. I need to get into the habit of writing more often to develop my style, and build an audience. Like most writers I think my ultimate goal is to have a publisher read my blog, love it, and give me a gazillion dollars to write a book. Then I would be on Oprah, and I would not have to depend on student loans to get through school. Once again, that is the insomniac talking.

I have big plans for this blog, and for other blogs. I am learning to enjoy writing for the sake of writing, and if anyone enjoys reading it, that just makes it better. In fact, I enjoy it so much that I just realized I could be doing homework right now. Oh well.

If you are still with me, I hope my ramblings have not confused you too much. I enjoy having this creative outlet, and I like hearing from my readers. All thirteen of you. I enjoy hearing from you, and if you like what you read, share it with your friends. Even if you disagree with my radical political views. Maybe I can help you see things from a different point of view, or maybe I can inspire you to express yourself in your own way.

Or maybe I will just cure your insomnia.

P.S. I think I'm going to wait to post this until I get some sleep. It all makes sense to my sleep deprived mind now, but who knows how it will read in the morning.